


and if our world comes tumbling down

by CassandrasDreamworld



Series: i am forgotten (i am remade) [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, choppy writing style, it starts fluffy but it ends in pain and angst, no beta we die like inpatient shits, sad ending?? kind of?? no one dies at least, sad fic, wrote this in two hours and now it's not my problem anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:54:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassandrasDreamworld/pseuds/CassandrasDreamworld
Summary: The contract is simple and straightforward. Alone that should have tipped them off but- it didn’t.A mistake.It wasn’t simple and straightforward. But that’s how it always is, isn’t it.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: i am forgotten (i am remade) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613920
Comments: 46
Kudos: 170





	and if our world comes tumbling down

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. LISTEN. At this point I truly give no fucks anymore. I've spent the past week going through every single Geralt/Jaskier fic. I've been obsessed and my friends were like oh if you don't have anything to read anymore why not write it :)) 
> 
> And I was like, i was like, the tablecat meme just `o´ and they were just do it! and so I, the chaotic being that I am delivered ANGST and then they were like :V so. success i think.
> 
> anyway i wrote this in 2 hours. low on sleep and also english isn't my native language
> 
> to the writing style... :shrugs: i just felt like writing that kind of choppy style and i thought it fit that fic so sue me whatever
> 
> I'm posting this not beta read and honestly now it's not my problem anymore, take it.
> 
> Edit 24th August 2020:
> 
> The lovely and awesome Steph (@jaskicr on tumblr and andrewminyards on ao3) made a really cool banner for my fic! I am IN LOVE! Look at this cool shit! + I went back and fixed some words etc.
> 
>   
> 

Jaskier is happy. He is, as one would say, disgustingly and madly in love with the source of his affection for over a decade and said affections are even returned. So yes, he is very happy. 

It wasn’t easy, certainly- they both aren’t the easiest of people. Messes the both of them but- always gravitating each other even after scathing remarks, cutting words.

Together and apart, gravitating together- and apart again and again and again- 

But-

_ The thing is- _

They always found each other again. Jaskier. Geralt. Jaskier and Geralt and sometimes it was only Jaskier and sometimes it was only Geralt or Geralt and Yennefer and- 

At the end it was always Jaskier and Geralt. Circling each other. Coming together. 

Jaskier and Geralt and then Cirilla too. Cirilla- Ciri who is such an amazing and lovely child. Wise beyond her years and quick and funny.

Brave child. Lion’s child. Jaskier and Geralt’s little lion cub.

They’ve made themselves a home at Kaer Morhen. The three of them together.

Ciri taking to swordsmanship like a fish to water and Jaskier- he doesn’t like it a lot but he knows she needs to learn and she has fun learning but-

Sometimes it makes something uncomfortable in his stomach clench. 

But- it’s good. The three of them a family. They’re all a little bit broken but come together the better for it.

Geralt hums deep in his chest, cracking an eye open and tightening his arms around Jaskier, “What are you thinking about?”

Jaskier turns and looks at Geralt, this beautiful man, his love and counts himself so so lucky to have him. To love him.

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind Geralt's ear and softly stroking along his cheek he says, “I’m just- I’m happy. I’m thinking how happy I am with you and with Ciri. Sometimes I feel like i’m bursting with it and that I could write  _ entire ballads- _ ”

Rumbling Geralt tucks his nose into Jaskier’s neck and mumbles, “Ballads later, sleep now Jas.” 

And- Jaskier laughs, softly, scratching at Geralt's scalp and smiling like a love-sick fool before sinking deeper into his arms and closing his eyes.

“I love you.” His answer is a deep hum, resonating through his whole body telling him Geralt feels the same.

  
  


~

  
  
  


They go out on a hunt come summer. Geralt knows all of his protest will just run off at Jaskier stubbornness so they go out together- as always.

They laugh and banter while Roach seems suffering of their antics. As much as a horse is able to. 

The contract is simple and straightforward. Alone that should have tipped them off but- it didn’t.    
  
A mistake.

It wasn’t simple and straightforward. But that’s how it always is, isn’t it.

The monster goes after Jaskier, of course but- it’s strong. Very strong, having thrown Geralt to ground and injuring him.

But-

He gets up.

  
Of course. Races after the monster and-

Only a bit-

And-

He reaches it before it reaches Jaskier and he slays it.

He does- 

But-

_ But- _

Jaskier screams and watches Geralt fall to the ground-

There is so much blood-

Claws sticking out  _ from his chest- _

Jaskier screams. He runs over to Geralt and turns him and nearly gags and  _ that’s not supposed to be on the outside no no no. _

He screams for help and pleads with whoever might listen- 

“No no no no no  _ no nononono, _ ” broken hiccups and tears falling freely down his face, “Please Geralt, you can’t do that, please, you aren’t supposed to die  _ before me _ .”

He pleads and pleads but  _ no one is there to hear- _

Until suddenly there is.

_ “Isn’t that touching.” _

_ “I will make a bargain for his life little bard but what would you have that you can give to me?” _

That- They- Whatever it is. Sound sincere in their cruelty.    
  


Jaskier knows he is reckless but- right now- he doesn’t even think of how wrong it could go. Will go.

Panic is crashing through him, making him blind- 

_ Geralt’s dying and it’s my fault- _

And- he can’t  _ think _ , can’t breath- his love is dying and he can’t- 

Can’t do anything-

He strikes a bargain.

He swallow, his mouth dry and he distantly realized that he’s shaking. He says-

“Save him. Please. I will- I will bargain my life- but. Save him please.”

And nothing happens and he panics and his love is bleeding out,  _ dying _ -

It- They- laugh. It’s blood curling and cruel. Broken shards and a knife to the throat.

Jaskier closes his eyes. Thinks about Geralt. About Ciri. How he will likely never see them again until they join him in the beyond but-

He’s has the most perfect years of his live with his love, with Geralt, and that. That has to be enough.

_ ”Little broken boy. A life for a life, yes. But death is so boring and too kind.” _

And Jaskier feels like he can’t breath, he’s choking and his eyes fly open and-

_ “He will live but he won’t know you anymore. No one will know you anymore. A life for a life.” _ _  
_ _  
_ It’s a knife in his gut, an arrow to the shoulder, a sword to the heart-

At the end. There hasn’t ever been a choice at all.

He mourns, broken glass inside his mouth and his tears are acid. And he mourns and he just has to remember them. What they had. 

He will carry the memories when no one else will. It has to be enough. He hopes they will remember with his death.

As if-

As if reading his thoughts and they- it, probably  _ are- _

It croons.

_ “Naive, naive bard. Broken child. I said, death would be too kind, didn’t I?” _

And-

It doesn’t hit him until later-

Much much later-

After propping Geralt against a tree and looking for any wounds that weren’t there.

After leaving because- because he know Geralt reaction to waking up next to a  _ stranger _ -

The Inn he will be staying at is one he had frequented often.

He knows the lovely woman that is the owner and who never shied away from Geralt and always gave them two treats with a wink, when they left. She has two lovely daughters and he showed them how to braid with Geralt his hair.

When he sets foot into the inn there is no recognition. The two sister don’t come and ask for more stories-

He stares and stares and swallows and it feels like he might have swallowed shards of glass instead.

She asks if everything is alright and he lies, that he was just thrown-

She looks like someone he knew once. 

When he pays for a room and gets the keys he near runs to it.

The inn has one of the better rooms in the area and-

He walks to the bed, wanting to just curl up and weep but on his way he passes the mirror and when he  _ looks- _

‘The crow’s feet are new’ he remembers Yennefer saying-

There aren’t any.

Dread pools at the bottom of his stomach and he looks and-

He is well on his way to forty but, looking in the mirror, he looks like he did when twenty-five and-

He sinks to the ground, shaking.

Wants to-

Scream. And-

Wants to  _ rage. _

But-

_ But- _

He did it for Geralt.

For his love and his partner and that Ciri has a  _ father _ -

Geralt will not remember. Not ever.

But he will. Will hold him, will hold  _ them, _ in his heart forever-

And won’t that be a long forever now.

He won’t ever let go of his love and memories, he won’t let go and he thinks-

Thinks-

If it meant saving his love, he would do it all again and again and again.

  
  


~

  
  


When Geralt wakes up he feels like someone has carved out his heart with a knife. Something deep and painful lodges in his throat. He can feel it in his bones that he forgot something.

Something Important.

But he is a Witcher, and a Witcher keeps going so he swallows whatever has caused this and buries it and finishes his job.

He collects his coin and rides home to Ciri.

A lark chirps in the distance and-

He thinks there should be a lute shouldn’t it-

But the thought leaves him as fast as it came and he rides home feeling-

Lost.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this. the end. well i have continuations planned but with my writing it might take like. years.
> 
> still hope you liked and if you find anything amiss grammar wise or so throw them at me pls and i'll fix it.


End file.
